Entry #29 The Sober Emcee vs. The Dry Alcoholic

So the true tesr now begins. I am now officially off of parole and by law I am now allowed to drink. I have been doing this blog for about 3 years now and the whole time I was not allowed to drink in accordance to my parole conditions as well as a life choice. However now that I am legally I am allowed to drink this is where the real test now lies. I always said that even if it wasn’t a parole condition I still wouldn’t drink, now that it’s a reality it’s time to see if I am really the Sober Emcee or just a dry alcoholic. A dry alcoholic is someone who has tried to quit drinking but has not really followed the 12 steps, never got a sponsor or a home group but just stayed a way from drinking for whatever reasons. Most of the time these reasons are legal ones and they have not set up the proper emergency plans for if in case they really get the urge to pick up a bottle.The reason that they are just considered “Dry” is because it is believed that they might not have stopped drinking for the right reasons and given extenuating circumstances or with legal boundaries removed that this dry alcoholic would go back to drinking right away. I wondered to myself, do I fall under this category? Sure I have done a lot over the past 4 years of sobriety and have been told that I have inspired a lot of people. Yes I am an advocate of marijuana consumption and even consume it myself. I believe that there has been way less lives accept because a family member smoked weed as opposed to the millions and millions of families who suffer each year from a member’s alcohol abuse. Not to mention the amount of alcohol and (Chemical) drug related deaths that happen per year. Either way now I have the freedom to do what ever I want (As long as it’s legal) and have to really exercise the “choice” not to drink alcohol. I have been a club emcee for a considerable amount of my time on parole and have done that and numerous live performances in a club with people drinking alcohol all around me. I have hung out with friends as they consumed heavy amounts of alcohol in celebration. I have to always keep in mind that I would not be able to have the things I have now if I had continued to drink. I have to remember now that if I pick up a drink that I would probably go on a binge tha may never end. That means; no more job, now more apartment, back to hustling and most importantly not being able to take care of my mother anymore in her Golden years. What non-alcoholics don’t realize that it is all or nothing for the population who has the disease of alcoholism. We can’t just “Have a few” then stop. We can’t just drink on the weekends and maintain control of our lives. When an alcoholic like myself picks up a drink a chemical reaction happens that effects us mentally. This reaction causes us to know no limits and continue drink until we pass out or end the night in some strange bed or jail! We destroy families and relationships way more than the average person and chaos follows us when the bottle is in hand. We will never be “Cured” and be able to drink like normal people. What we have to live with is acceptance that we have this disease. This is why I have never tried to judge anyone who drinks because in all actuality people can really have a good time when there’s alcohol involved. Therefore I encourage people to drink and be merry and I date women who drink a little...or a lot. We take everyday in 24 hours time rather than try to tell our future of never drinking again but we know that we can’t. We have to be prepared for the obsticles should they come and have the proper buffers, people and prevention methods to stop us from taking that potiential fatale step of drinking. I believe that knowing this is what makes me the Sober Emcee so if you’re in the club that I’m working or performing in, have a drink on me and have a crazy night. And if you are one of the people with the alcoholism disease like myself who choose not to drink alcohol for life, then have a happy 24(Hours). Bless