Entry #15 Let's Talk About Sex

I’m coming up on my second year of sobriety in a few days and I feel good. There have been a lot of trials that I have gone through since February 17 of 2010 but still I’ve been able to maintain a clear and sober mind. One of the saying that I always hear in my AA meetings is “Remember When” that’s when we think back on the insanities that we brought to the world in our drunken state and feel happy for the moments now because those times are over. One of my remember when moments that remain prevalent in my mind was the way that I was when it came to women and sex. We all know that when we have the right amount of alcohol in us that all our inhibitions can fly away quickly. I used to drink a mickey of vodka before I went to the club so I would already be in Mac mode before even hitting the bar, plus (I thought) it made it cheaper for the night of buying expensive drinks. Truth was because I was so drunk already I had less discretion on my pockets and the money flew at the bar and ever friend, chick and even non-close associates got a drink from me. I had many of drunk sloppy sex nights after the bar or afterhours that I woke up with regrets. I would wake up in some of the strangest parts of town dreading the trip home I had ahead of me. The night before travelling all the way to another side of the city always seemed like such a great idea while I had the vodka and Hennessey making my decisions for me. But in the morning no one likes to do the walk of shame, or getting home groggy and hung over just so I can get some proper sleep in my own bed. I laugh and cringe at the same time when I think about some of the monsters I woke up next to also, the night before she looked like Megan Fox with the Henney guiding my vision but in the morning she’d look like Rosie O’ Donald. I’d like to apologize to my current fiancé and past serious relationships that I had dealing with a drunken womanizer like I was back then. It’s always so easy to blame promiscuity on alcohol when I slipped, both men and women can relate to that.
When I was younger I used alcohol to loosen up to be able to talk to women because I was shy and self conscious about the weight I had back then, but as I got older alcohol went from loosening me up to just make me loose. So in closing I thank God that I’m in a relationship with a good women and that my Johnson never fell off or got chopped off from all my crazy adventures. And as I always say go out there and have some drinks and have fun just be responsible or you too can wake up in a strange place with a stranger in a bed full of regrets.
Bless