For anyone who has been following my ongoing blog, I would like to thank you. I would like to thank my lovely fiancé for typing out my message to you and I would like to thank anyone and everyone for your support. I hope that anything I had to say in the previous entry has influenced you in a positive way.
If you don’t already know, I have been sent back to the federal penitentiary for an alleged parole violation. I maintain my innocence and those of you who really know me know that I’m am sincere by the positive changes that I have made in myself. I am at a federal camp called the Frontenac institution. Regardless to the fact this is still a prison and there are rules and regulations that you must abide by. There are many people doing life sentences and long bids who are separated from their friends and family. In my opinion, when we laugh and smile here its to keep from expressing our true emotions of sorrow, stress and frustration. Many have tried to alleviate those feelings via drugs and alcohol which are readily available here and in many other institutions. The fact is that alleviation is only temporary, no matter how high or drunk an inmate gets we are still here and that’s the reality. I believe that we must always look to god and our own inner strength to free our minds while our bodies are still being incarcerated. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s do-able. We can’t help our family and friends if were in an altered state of mind. I know it sounds cliché but we can’t escape our problems with a joint or a drink. Even worse if we get caught or make the wrong decisions while in that inebriated state, we can catch additional charges which in turn prolong our reunion with our loved ones on the outside. This also translates to all of you who are not incarcerated. If we aren’t in the right frame of mind then we are no help to the people around us.
As for me, I continue to stay sober and attend AA meetings supplied by the institution. I try to look at the bright side of my situation and I continue to keep my faith in god and the hope that I will be vindicated for my innocence. At least, I’m in a minimum security institution for now and not some cruel prison in a foreign country. At least I’m not doing a life bid so eventually I will come home, hopefully sooner than later. I still have my life and health after all the tribulations I’ve been through, most of all at least I’m still sober and have the love and support of my wife, mother, friends, and family. I will see all of you soon but for now I am still mentally free.